sham3ful:

i cant see without my glasses and i cant see with my glasses. can u see the problem bc i obviously cant.

jr-abraxas:

Do you ever wonder if somewhere, a million light years across the universe, another intelligent life form is sitting on their equivalent of a laptop on their equivalent of Tumblr wondering the exact same thing?

racially-abusive-ostrich:

When you think someone is cute then suddenly everything they do is cute.

When they eat, it’s cute

When they sleep, it’s cute

When they snort a line, it’s cute

When they text, it’s cute

hitlerthesassyllama:

dID RAPUNZEL GROW ANY PUBES AND DID THEY HAVE ANY POWERS AND DID IT GLOW OMGG

deathbyvaginas:

What if our sex organs were on the middle of our chest and we would have sex with each other by hugging

Ohmygod

wessasaurus-rex:

Yawning: The body’s way of saying 15% battery power reminding. mhmm

irideonrainbows:

What if you were taking a shower and suddenly the water turned super hot and you heard a demonic voice whisper ‘don’t forget to scrub behind your ears’?

My friend: I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.
Me: You see, this is the perfect time to remember the difference between "then" and "than".